Caked Mud
by importantly
Summary: You know mud tastes bad, but Kagome seems to enjoy it. You can enjoy caked mud even more. Much more than Kagome.


She's late. She's goddamn late, like always. You can never trust a girl like her. Days of waiting are getting aggravating. She always pops up when you least expect it, and then she rudely apologizes with some homemade food (that _somewhat_ good omelet, that _somewhat_ good pickled fish, and those _somewhat_ good rice balls) and Ramen, and then you guys are on your way.

But while waiting for her, you Miroku and Sango and Kirara and Shippo encounter yet another demon. It's just the regular demon with your scaly skin, pointy fangs, and hair growing in the oddest of places. It should take them from fifteen to twenty minutes, depending on whether or not you're up to it. But stupid Miroku though he saw a woman in the forest, causing him to become vulnerable to the demon's attack, which slammed him against the wall, causing Miroku to grab onto something, which happened to be Sango's butt, which causes Sango to slap Miroku, causing you to scream at them, causing the demon to spew out some sticky, horrid liquid at you, causing your anger to strengthen, causing you to use your Wind Scar, effectively killing the demon but causing the sticky, horrid liquid to fly all over.

"What the hell was that, monk?" you scream as you try to wipe away the molasses like substance that was the demon. Who the hell creates a demon with such a stench?

"I merely though I saw a woman," Miroku calmly replies.

You're getting really angry, too angry. So angry you want to skin the monk alive and boil the insides in the demon's liquid as you--

Kagome's scent. She's here.

Your anger quickly subsides as you leap toward the well that Kagome is struggling to get out of. The sight makes you heart soar, and your legs jump faster as your grin grows wider. Being the gentleman you are you help Kagome out.

By grabbing the food.

"Hey! InuYasha! You jerk!" Kagome huffs as she jumps off the well's ledge. She continues to speak which annoys you to the point where you're about to break, but you're no really listening. There's food to be eaten.

After Miroku, Sango, Kirara, and Shippo settle back and you explain to Kagome how her lateness almost killed them and Kagome retorts that it was probably his own sheer stupidity and you snap that it was _your _Wind Scar that saved them not her uselessness, and Kagome screams sit, the small picnic proves to be quiet.

Right in the middle of a rice ball, you notice Kagome unwrapping a small, light brown rectangle from a silver paper. She breaks up the rectangle into tiny little pieces before slipping a bit into her mouth. You stare at the rest of the caked mud, because that's what you think they are. But how is it that the mud looks so smooth and creamy--creamy because you see when Kagome offers the rest of the group--except you and Kirara--a cut of caked mud, the liquidness, which looks so creamy it makes you want to eat some, stains her lips. You know mud tastes bad, but Kagome seems to enjoy it. You can enjoy caked mud even more. Much more than Kagome.

"What is it?" Sango asks as she slips on into her mouth.

"Chocolate. It makes you feel happy," Kagome chirps. She parts her lips to consume another piece of 'chocolate' and you spy some of the 'chocolate' start to melt as soon as it touches her pink tongue. Seconds later, her tongue darts out to lick any stray liquid.

You can do it better than her. Much better.

"Tastes good!" Shippo grins and grabs for another one, slamming it into his mouth, slathering the mud all over his face.

"I agree," Miroku hums. Even Miroku makes the mud seem good. And you _must_ be better than the monk.

"C-can I have some?" You aren't the one to ask, but you've already pissed Kagome off and it doesn't look like she's going to offer you any 'chocolate' anytime soon. You _must_ have a piece, no matter how pathetic you're looking right now.

"Dogs can't eat chocolate," Kagome says in an apologetic way. You wanna wipe out her polite smile with the Tetsusaiga.

"But-but…. I don't care…." You growl. You make a grab for the caked mud on Kagome's lap, but the girl lifts the chocolate up, causing your hand to land right between Kagome's legs.

This is not going to go well,

Kagome's eyes go white and red and so fiery and blazing that you can't look.

Ah, shit.

"SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT!"


End file.
